twenty five minutes and counting

I have twenty five minutes until my brownies are nicely baked and gooey.  For I don’t believe a brownie is a brownie until it is just the right gooey consistency straight out of the oven.  I was going to make a carrot cake for my mum’s birthday…but my lack of inspiration guided me to the ice-cream and brownie aisle at …… (wal-mart shh). 

I could say a lot about a person’s character, and today I was greatly disappointed in someone.   A person I thought would rise above whatever was happening.  It got me thinking how people are constantly watching everyone else, how they act in different situations and if they will rise above it. 

Sometimes I catch myself in a really bad attitude…like today.  I was tired, grumpy and it was busy because of the holiday weekend.  I had a project going on that normally takes me about 15 minutes and it almost took me an hour and a half to complete…..you would think the people would see my face and say ‘mmm mmmm we’re staying away from her!’  alas it was like magnet instead, they kept coming.  I had to constantly pray that God would give me patience, and that He would help me change my attitude.  I got through the day, but it was an almost near miss. 

Today I almost sunk my ‘character’ ship.  I’m working on rebuilding that boat.   I don’t want to be a disappointment to anyone especially like what happened today with that person I mentioned earlier.   I know I’m human and that I’m allowed to have my moments, but I’m representing someone bigger.

And HE is someone I don’t ever want to disappoint. 

twenty-five minutes are up!  brownies=gooey deliciousness!

shoes

We picked out a gravestone today. 

I just turned off the tv and saw dad’s shoes.

 

All I could do was hug them and cry.

it’s been one of those weeks.

snapshots in time

I’ve surrounded myself with pictures.  Ones that make me smile and laugh with the memory of when it was taken.  Ones that give me a sense of peace,  of places that I love.  Pictures that have a past and show my heritage, and pictures that bring tears every time I walk by.  Tears of sadness, of pain, of overwhelming love and wishful thinking.   Pictures of people who are no longer in my life whether by death or by choice. 

Sometimes I look at them and wish I could just jump into the picture and be able to interact with my friends, or have another moment of laughter with dad, talk with my grandad and grandmum, hang out with the extended family, get on the train to Moscow, being in Normandy with my girls Chanz and Emz or in Hyde Park with Rachel and Mark.  Sometimes if I close my eyes I can still hear the conversations, or feel the breeze sitting on the park bench at the university grounds. 

The snapshots of ones life.  Physical or mental.  What will be the ones I remember most?  Will it be the tragic, the funny, or the ones that I’m most pained and embarrassed about? Will I look back and think if only I could retake that picture, or will I think that picture was perfect!?

I love the pictures of my life.  The moments that I treasure, the ones captured on film, and the ones captured forever in my memory.   And hopefully I’ll only have a few that I ever wish I could re-do.

And hopefully I’ll have many snapshots like one I took of my ‘nephew’ Alex…walking down a path with a bit of  joy in my step and a bit of wonder in my gaze.

Chocolate frosting and bumblebees

Lazy Sunday afternoons are what I love.  Walking Ellie down to the football field and letting her loose is always a fun time…especially when you throw the rope, she runs after it, and then waits for you to come to her instead of the other way around.  It was nice. 

The word nice is such a basic word to use, when you don’t want to go into detail, even in definition it is said to have come to this ‘By 1926, it was pronounced “too great a favorite with the ladies, who have charmed out of it all its individuality and converted it into a mere diffuser of vague and mild agreeableness.” [Fowler]   Even Jane Austen has something to say about the word nice in one of her books

“I am sure,” cried Catherine, “I did not mean to say anything wrong; but it is  a nice book, and why should I not call it so?” “Very true,” said Henry, “and this is a very nice day, and we are taking a very nice walk; and you are two very nice young ladies. Oh! It is a very nice word indeed! It does for everything.” [Jane Austen, “Northanger Abbey”]

 

 

So maybe I should describe my walk with Ellie in a different light using a different word.  Ellie and I had an agreeable time, frolicking in the field, chasing after one another…..it was lovely. 🙂 

We came back and I decided even though it is such a cloudy day the weather on the otherhand is perfect!  So I took a chair outside, sat Ellie on my lap and we read ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’, I think I love that book.  I then proceeded to fall asleep and almost fell off my chair, so I laid down on the ramp and found a big bumblebee that had died.  Poor bumblebee it’s amazing to look at one up close without threat, all those little details God has put into everything He has created, amazing.  I then flicked it away from us, for Ellie seemed to have the intent to eat it once I was done with my examination. 

 

But now I feel that I’ve over taxed my stomach….I found some chocolate frosting, and ate it.  Ew.  Why?  I was in a chocolate mood, every once in a while I have a huge chocolate craving.  Now if you asked my girls back in Notts…they would tell you that every day I have a huge craving! 🙂  I don’t know.  What I do know, it has been such a relaxing weekend, a far cry from the past two….which I was in charge of a couple events.  So I treated myself to a White Chocolate Bailey’s cheesecake, and my aunt and mum helped me eat it!   Brilliance in your mouth!  

I love making cheesecake, it’s one of my favourite activities to do.  Actually baking in general is just a lot of fun, it’s a relaxing activity for me..when I’m too stressed or I just need to focus my attention on creating something it’s wonderful and plus the end result is something that is delicious!

I’ve been reading a lot of books lately.  One of them is a bit alarming to me, cause it tells of the New Age idealism that is creeping into Christianity today and even some of our most influential teachers have a bit of this ’emergent’ thinking.  I’ve even looked at some of my viewpoints and have been shocked at how I’ve had a bit of New Age influence.   It’s scarey to think about.   I guess I’m trying to get back to the Bible, and just read it as it is, without all these different influences trying to sway me in any direction of thought.  I need to get back to the basics and put a firm foundation in God and what is written in the Bible and not in these books that are coming out.