Dear Dad,

Today was a beautiful day.  It was hot and you probably wouldn’t have faired well in that, but it was Steph’s wedding reception.  We were able to see family that we haven’t seen since your funeral…it was nice to see them on a happy note.  Everyone is growing up, all the little cousins from Drake to Miles,  I can’t believe how much they all have changed.   I also teased Kendall a lot. I figure since Joel is now the more ‘responsible’ parent I should probably fill the ‘teasing’ cousin role.  She seemed appalled that I would even contiplate eating her chocolate.  You would have loved the cupcakes by the way, they were absolutely delicious.   The vanilla was my favourite, of course I’ve always leaned towards vanilla cake rather then chocolate.  I don’t know why that is, cause my love for chocolate has always been strong…somehow chocolate cake doesn’t tempt me as much as vanilla does though.  Strange huh?

This week was VBS.  You would have been proud of me, I embraced my inner-man.  I became a pirate, a begger, and filled numerous other roles.  I truly believe our sets were some of the best ever created.   From sailing on the stormy seas, to having to swim through the ocean to the island of malta…our imagination went wild with the possibilities of what we could do.    One boy told his leader that he really needed to use the toilet, but was going to wait cause he didn’t want to miss any of the drama.  I love the fact that we were able to create the stories so that they would be interactive and really come alive for the kids.  To show them that the Bible isn’t boring, it’s pretty cool when you really imagine what was happening, but the most important part is that we got to show them Jesus and what He did for all of us. 

I went to another friend’s, Tyrone’s reception today.  He has gone through so much, conquered a lot of odds set against him, and now he’s found someone to love and who loves him…and that makes my heart so happy.  I am so proud of him and am so thankful that I know him and that they are a part of my life. 

I’m really excited about starting up university but also graduating.   I know that it will be an important step in my life….but I’m also really homesick for England.  I have even been researching what it would take to go to uni in England, it seems a bit crazy but I’ve had the thought in my head for a while now…’s looking like I may just have to wait until student teaching.  I’m going to continue to toss the idea around.  I’m not sure how mum would handle it though…in more ways then just one. 

It’s thundering outside.  I’ve always loved thunderstorms, there’s something calming about them for me.   Like if it’s been a horrible day and it ends with a huge thunderstorm, it’s like it’s erasing the horribleness and giving you a fresh tomorrow to start with. 

I miss you constantly dad, I really do.  I’m often reminded of the little things.  I’ll see your face and hear your laugh.  I’ll walk into the house and hope to see your bed once more beyond the door and be able to tell you about work.    People will come up to me and tell how much I look like you or how my smile reminds them of you.  Sometimes I just wish I could see it myself because I have so many days when I could use your smile…..I never told you how much joy it brought to my heart. 

This time last year I was in France.  I met the love of my life (according to the girls) named Richard.  He made my heart go ‘pitter patter’ ;).  And mum was preparing to take you to the hospital for surgery.  I remember the day that I thought was your surgery and how I was panicing because I hadn’t gotten a text update from Jane.  I was so scared that something happened to you Dad.   Come to find out I was a day early and I remember  how I could hear in your voice how you were a bit apprehensive of the surgery…I know we had had our fill of the hospital, and I know you probably didn’t want to be back.  I prayed constantly for you on that day, and I know that 50 times, at the minimum, I prayed ‘God don’t let anything happen to my daddy, please. I don’t think I could bare it.’

Sometimes I wonder if my heart will ever be the same like it once was….but how can it be when it keeps breaking?    The tears fall just like the rain, but in the morning God gives me something that makes me smile.  And in those times I remember His faithfullness, love and goodness He continues to show us each and every day. 

I love you….and say hi to Tom for me.

your baby