Burning the 1 am oil.

It is officially new year’s eve.  The time of year, I look back on the events and give a critique of what I am thankful for.  I feel like I did that for thanksgiving, so maybe I’ll do something a bit different.

When 2010 started, I never imagined the events that would transpire.  I had officially gotten my acceptance letter to Anderson, and a couple weeks later sent in my deposit.  Excuse my french, but I wanted to poop my pants!  I was so nervous.  When I was in high school I had countless sleepless nights because of the financial impact college would have on my life, and I did not like that weight on my shoulders.  I wasn’t ready at all, and how would I ever pay for it?  As much as I was nervous when I sent in the deposit, it wasn’t like the past, it was a good nervous feeling.  Excitement, a ‘what did I just do?’ feeling, and peace.  I always know I am on the right track when there’s an over abundance of peace in my life. 

I never knew that I would lose a friend this year.  One that I held dearly to my heart.  One that broke my heart….but I will always look at the memories I have with this friend, fondly.   Only wishing them the best. 

My relationship with God has suffered a bit.  It was definately stronger these past few years and it’s all my fault.  I’m not giving up on Him, and I know He’s not giving up on me.  Somehow I need to find that place where I want to find Him again, where I want to grow.  I will, don’t worry about me….but  just like a relationship, I need to put an effort in on my side.

I remember when I was laying on dad’s bed, tears dripping down my face, and his watch going off in the darkness…the sound piercing my heart like a knife.   I remember wishing it was a dream, and then waking up in the morning seeing his shoes underneath the dresser.  The pain I felt then, is the pain I still feel.  Some people say I’m strong, but I only feel weak.  

I’ve learned a few things this year.

How not to put a thermometer on the fryer top when frying chicken….. who knew they could roll?

I’ve learned that when a sink does not have a protective covering in the drain, thermometers also can fit into those, and drop in.

I’ve learned that mopeds have a manly side, and some call them motorbikes to make it seem better. 😉

I learned that you will lose friends, but you will also gain friends as well.

I’ve learned that cinnamon crunch bagels are not good to leave by themselves in the toaster.  They catch on fire.

I learned that certain socks should not be worn when running.  The stink it creates is atrocious.

I also have learned that my youthgroup kiddos do not keep secrets. hahaha

I learned that I missed afterschool clubs way too much.

I learned how to make 3D snow flakes, and that Hope and I will gladly slack off when studying.

I’ve learned to embrace my inner super hero.

I learned that people know exactly what I love…coffee and cheesecake.  I’ve also learned that these are associated in my description.

I’ve learned that men should never wear jeggings. 

I’ve learned to embrace my heart ache, and I’ve learned that it is okay to cry. 

I’ve learned that God still loves me and I know I still love Him.