weddings and funerals: a guide to survival

Being a single 24-25 year old you may wonder how I ever survive the wedding festivities.  It is coming to the point where everyone I know is either now engaged or newly married, with the exception of a few.  And before I go on let me clarify one point: I am not, let me repeat, AM NOT in any way jealous or one of those girls who are on the brink of insanity because she has yet to find a guy.  I am, however, very grateful that I can do whatever I want or go anywhere without having to worry about that type of attachment.  I am thankful for this time that I have and will take great advantage of it. 


Survival Point 1: grandmum’s outfits are for when you want to dress us as an old lady and surprise a friend at his work.  Grandmum’s outfits are not to wear at weddings.  Of course most weddings I go to these days are ones that I play for, so I try to wear black and white.  Just not all black, because then the wedding would look more like a funeral. 


Survival Point 2:  If the guys that you would feel most comfortable in asking live extremely far away, then find friends to sit with at the reception.  Or do what I do, ditch the people you asked previously to save a seat for you and sit with your previous Pastor and his wife.  Great fun will ensue. 


Survival Point 3:  If the weddings provide lottery tickets to scratch and play, make sure to sit at a table with empty seats…the more likely you will win something.  $3 for me!


Survival Point 4:  If you do have relatives, like your mum, sitting with you…make sure the table conversation doesn’t turn into something she shouldn’t hear, like past adventures that take quite a lot of explaining to dig yourself out of the hole your friend dropped you in.


Survival Point 5:  I’ve never been a great dancer.  In fact I look like a white girl trying to dance, so I try to keep the professional air I exude and talk casually.  However, I find that most of the dancing happens after the cake cutting.  So it’s finding that right balance of getting the piece of cake, enjoying it with coffee, and the politely clapping after the father/bride dance and mother/groom dances.  Once the cake is eaten, it’s just a casual hi and goodbye, and walk out the door. 


Survival Guide 6:  If your car doesn’t have the greatest air conditioning, it really doesn’t matter if your hair gets messed up now….roll down those windows and lap up the air like a dog’s head sticking out the window. 



Now funerals, really there isn’t a survival guide for those.  Tissues and memories are about the closest thing you can do for preparation.  Soaking up the family and friend time as much as possible, and remembering and celebrating the person who has passed on.  Of course that doesn’t make the day any easier, but having friends and family surrounding does ease the ache a wee bit. 




“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
 A. A. Milne quote