Moving Forward

How can one word evoke so many different levels of emotion?

Change.

That word has been notorious in my life.  It has moved me overseas, out of state, and into school.  I have said so many goodbyes and yet have experienced so many hellos.  Maybe what makes “change” such a scary word is the uncertainty that rides with it.  The uncertainty of the future, the uncertainty of making new friends, the uncertainty of losing old friends.  Change is the moment of reckoning and begs the question, “Will I step out of my comfort zone and live?”

We are experiencing change in the Lemon Peel household. Graduation is soon approaching and the uncertainties have begun to creep into our thoughts.  Sometimes it is terrifying to think about the next few months of transition, and yet it is so exciting. But time seems so short.  We rush around filling in our slots, to catch those little moments with those we care about.  We wring out every last second, not wasting our words and sometimes just sitting in the silence to process.

Change.

Of course nothing will ever be the same again.  We evolve with change and we adapt to our new situations.  This is how we experience life.  This is how we survive.  And yet, deep down we still hope that everything will be the same.

Thankfully, nothing stays the same.  Whether it is good or bad, we continue to be surprised by life.

Although change sucks at times, and we hate to say goodbye to a good thing, change is necessary.

There is a prayer by Thomas Merton that I truly love:

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

God is with us, no matter what life may bring to our tables.